Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
