ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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