Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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