we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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