we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
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But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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