Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
