Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
