His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
My vagina is very pro this idea
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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