so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
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i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
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I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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