My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
im six kinds of drunk right now
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
