My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize