ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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