So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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