Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I want to have your abortion
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I don't deserve a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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