Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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