Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
