He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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