i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Text me some of your sweat
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
is it fun? or sober?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
