Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
