you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
