Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
