How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
