So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
