i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
