it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
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