I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
