it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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