Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
