halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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