Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
how does that bad decision feel?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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