sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
