i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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