i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
