I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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