I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
So much Jack, so little girl.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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