Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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