addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
