The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
