there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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