We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
