And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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