This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize