i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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