4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
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He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
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You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You ate ashes out of my bong
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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