On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
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We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
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When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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