Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
