omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
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i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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