i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
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still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn off my feet"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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