If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize