Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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