He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
this beer tastes like vomit already
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
