went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
