her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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