omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
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Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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